the real me

It is really easy to care too much about what others think.

I have realized over the years just how much I really care about what people think of the things I do, the clothes I wear, the books/movies I like, the people I do and don't hang out with, etc.  For me it was way worse in high school, if I thought there was the slightest chance somebody might think what I was wearing was stupid, or if they thought my hair looked bad, or if maybe my friend didn't like something (but I really did), I would just pass on those things.  That is a lot of individuality I missed out on.  I have always been somebody that needed advice (or maybe approval?) on what to wear, how to wear it, and what accessories to put with it.  And up until recently, when asked to sum up my style, I couldn't really tell you.  I used to walk into the stores I liked and would see something I liked on a mannequin and just buy everything on it.  I was playing right into those advertisers hands!

Becoming an adult and getting married does something to your self-esteem.  "Oh, I could wear that shirt I like and it doesn't matter what anybody thinks!"  I won't be a total loser if I don't have those shoes that everybody has - as a matter of fact, I don't even like them!  And now that I have bills to pay, and I know how much clothes cost, I know that it doesn't matter if all of my clothes come from Target  - I can do that!  All that matters, is that I like it, and that what I am wearing is glorifying to God - remember, Modest is Hottest! ;)  haha, had to slip that in there.

It's not just about clothes though.  I've always been a book nerd.  I love to read a few chapters of a good book before I fall asleep.  It helps me wind down from the day.  

I LOVE Harry Potter and I LOOOOOVE Twilight.

Those are two things you should know about me.

Here's me on the outside.  

Nice, normal, mother of two beautiful girls.

And here's me on the inside - dressing up as Professor Trelawney to go see the H.Po movies, and who knows maybe sometimes at home too.

 And thinking it might be a good idea to get a Twilight tattoo that covers my entire back.

Like I said, that's me on the inside.  I won't get a giant Twilight tattoo.  But if someday I have a nervous breakdown and do that, don't be judgey, because I'll revert back to my high school days and cry myself to sleep.