Today is one of those days where everything seems stressful.
No, it's not just me being a woman, because today it seems like everybody else is stressed.
I guess I'm just along for the ride (stupid facebook).
I've wanted needed to blog all day, but haven't done it yet because I don't really have a topic.
Just an array of thoughts flowing through my head that need to come out.
This blog post is stress relief.
I'm wondering (and maybe some of you could comment with your thoughts on this) at what point does somebody intercede in a situation (or do they at all)?
Say something is going on that you completely don't agree with.
Maybe you think it could hurt somebody else or is just plain immoral.
Let's say this is happening to a friend or family member.
DO you say something?
DO you intercede?
How serious does it need to be before you step in?
Or do you not step in ever because it's "none of your business".
This seems to be happening all over the place right now.
People are lashing out at each other - and in my opinion, not going about things in the correct way.
What would God want us to do?
Anything?
Nothing?
Earlier than later?
Better late than never?
My head is confused.
Topic #2.
How long is it okay to be mad or upset with somebody?
At what point does staying mad at somebody become holding a grudge?
I know there are some people that severely struggle with this.
I know multiple people like this, and I believe that grudge holding is a poison.
It can become obsessive, even causing health problems due to the stress.
At what point does one say, "This isn't worth it" and throw in their grudge towel?
There was a point in my life when I was mad at somebody and then I let it go.
I let it go for them and for me.
There is a point when you're just not really that mad anymore, and the grudge has become more of a habit than actual reality.
I understand that sometimes the reason you hold said grudge is that the reason you were upset with this person (or group of people) persists. They continue to do something that aggravates you, so you just can't get over it.
But if their "sins" are over and done with, FORGIVE AND FORGET PEOPLE!
Thank you guys for listening to my thoughts.
I sometimes get too emotional about other people's problems.
I get caught up and can feel my blood pressure rising.
I would love to hear your thoughts on these topics. So please, feel free to comment.
5 comments:
Courtney -
In response to topic #1. It isn't an easy answer for me. I would love to say that interceding when it's someone you care about is what I would do. But in actuality it is much hard to do than it is to say! However, if I could be perfect (and take my own advice) it would be to intercede but cautiously. Put a little tidbit in that person's ear. Don't begin by just barging in a becoming overwhelming for them. Maybe if they have someone say a little something - they might think a little harder and come to their own conclusion. What I would try to avoid is having that person continuing in what they're doing AND being mad at you for caring!!! :)
As for #2 - again I don't think it's a clear cut answer. However, I think it comes down to if the grudge holding/mad person goes out of their way to bring up why they're mad at the person. Avoiding the person they're mad at and choosing not to put themselves in such a situation would not be considered "holding a grudge" in my opinion. But, like I said, it isn't a clear cut line...
~Melissa
Difficult to figure out what is right and what/how God would want us to respond.
I always find the best answers in the Bible when it comes to this stuff. I feel like God can say everything so much better than I can.
Topic 1:
Phil. 2:3-4 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
Basically, I think this verse says it all. It's okay to intercede, but make sure you're doing it for the benefit of the other person, and not for selfish motives.
Proverbs 20:3
“It is to a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel."
Also, make sure you think about it and pray about it A LOT before you say anything. God tends to have better insight than we do on all situations and he knows if it's right for you to get involved or not.
As for problem #2. I have been dealing with this for a long time. I have a person in my life who I used to hate. Feel horrible anger for, and generally despise. What I realized was holding on to that makes you just as wrong as them. So, I decided to release my anger and hatred at the situation and just not have that person in my life. At all. I think you should surround yourself with positive people, and avoid dealing with negative people that will harm you and those around you. I no longer hate her, I just choose not let her in my life.
-Sydney
I agree with Sydney for number one...it can be a tricky road to navigate and even if you are doing it for their benefit, they may not appreciate your interference in their lives and/or this situation. I think it would be best to proceed with caution and maybe be prepared to loose this person in your life, at least in the short term.
Number two: The most important thing that I have learned about grudges and/or remaining angry at someone for something they have done/continue to do is that the only person it really hurts is you. The other person doesn't care if your feelings are hurt, or if you are angry at them. It is hard to do; letting go of that anger/grudge but I know that once it is done, you are better for it. Who knows, maybe once you let go of the anger/grudge, God could work a miracle and bring you back to this person in a way that is good for both of you!! And doesn't the Bible say something about God not being able to forgive you if you don't forgive others? (At least that was how I understood it!)
All really fantastic questions. I found myself learning topic 1 about a year ago, and actually just found myself in topic 2 a few weeks ago.
Here are my own personal rules for the speak up/shut up dilemma: Speak up if it is:
-Immoral
-Illegal
-Inconsiderate to a helpless person (like a child) or
-Dangerous.
Or, of course, if you are asked to speak. I have learned (and sure as hell experienced the other way) that when I try to speak up to someone who isn't open to hearing, I ultimately just lock myself out anyway. I have learned that 9 times out of 10, a closed mouth is ultimately one that ends up smiling. Additionally, I see that there is such a grace about a woman, and a strength in a man, who can hold his/her tongue. It's like what Cat said earlier: Usually those who speak without being asked just seek to satisfy his or her own feelings.
Topic 2: Not long ago I found I was beginning to make peace with something that had hurt countless people a long time ago. I confided in a friend that I was feeling guilty for coming to terms when so many people were still hurting and hadn't moved on. What she said changed me. "Paige, you are on your own personal journey with that. No one can tell you where to be with your healing in it. Not I, not your family, not your friends. You are wherever you are." With that said, we're all responsible for our attitudes in a healing process, and there is definitely often a problem with people resisting the process and staying stagnant-- but in healing, you are where you are. You can't tell anyone where to be on their road, nor can they tell you.
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